You don’t find your purpose, you find yourself and then live on purpose
I used to desperately want to KNOW my purpose, then I became so frustrated with trying to “find my purpose” that I think I just eventually gave up. It lost its allure.
Tired of fighting against myself and looking for some formulaic path that would guarantee success, I decided I would do everything I could each day to just be good to myself.
I would honor those quiet heart nudges; I would do things that jived with my soul and say no to the things that didn’t. I would try to listen to my inner feelings: “What do I value? What makes me feel lit up? What could I do, study, talk about for hours?”
I started doing things that came from inspired impulse and a desire to fill a void — even if it seemed outrageous or silly. And you know what, I somehow started writing again. . . about things I really wanted to talk about.
The problem with all this open your heart, live your purpose, face-your-fears-empowerment jargon is that it can become spiritual junk food. We are consuming personal empowerment and positive thinking by the pound but still, crave something more or even worse — trying to fit our lives into someone else’s definition of success.
Don’t get me wrong, I love inspiring quotes and little nuggets of wisdom. I am grateful to the thought leaders who want to share their happiness and success stories, but most of them didn’t wake up one morning and know exactly what their “purpose” was. They didn’t go out and immediately start their ideal career, write a New York bestseller, or launch a successful program right out of the shoot.
Most of the people living and talking about finding their purpose, myself included, had a lot of messy growth, trial and error, play with life, and inner examination to go through before we felt like we had found that sweet spot between flow, success, happiness, and passion.
If you haven’t found your purpose yet — relax. It’s okay.
In fact I would say stop trying to “find” it. It implies that a piece of your life is missing. It puts you in a constant state of angst looking for something “out there” which you have not “found” yet.
I don’t mean you are lost, but rather that living in alignment with your purpose is a path — a path that leads you closer to your Self and into deeper and deeper layers of your Truth.
When I began playing full out with my natural gifts and passions, ignoring if it all made sense or not; when I started doing what felt good instead of trying to fit into some mold — I found that my mission and purpose were unfolding in front of me in ways I could never have planned out.
It is on this journey where you are in pursuit of greater self-acceptance, self-awareness, and expansion that you will be naturally aligned with your ever evolving purpose.
When you endeavor to live from and honor your Truth, without trying to be something you are not, you create the space to become more of who you are.
The universe responds to love with more love. It isn’t possible to fail if you pursue your life from a place of being more authentically aligned with you. Will there be setbacks? Sure. Will there be twists and turns? Of course. But with trust and openness you can be in harmony with the journey instead of working against it.
Here are my favorite questions to ask yourself. If you can answer these and take little action steps each week and just play, you will be living on purpose.
- What are the voids you see in life? What do you want to fix or change in the world?
- When do you feel the most free? How do you like to play? When do you feel creative?
- What is working in your life? What would you love to do more of?
- What do you enjoy talking about, thinking about, spending time doing?
- When do you feel the most connected?
- What do you want to know how to do better?
- What have you already been doing for years naturally? What do people turn to you for?
The thoughts that come up that you think are ridiculous — run with those. That is your heart talking to you.
Share them with me here! I love hearing about what makes people feel alive, creative and free!
Light and Love
Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach
My commitment is to be as human with you, as is humanly possible over the internet while I break down overly simplistic, reductive, self-help and spiritual teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my Instagram meanderings, and get access to the Wholehuman™ tribe, a bad ass, non-new-age, private Facebook group where we talk about real life self-love, self-awareness, and self-trust.