This is the biggest struggle I see my clients dealing with: they think they are supposed to arrive at some “enlightened”, perfectly-happy-utopian-place, and reside there all the time.
They think bliss and euphoria are a constant state. They believe they should never make a mistake, or have a negative thought, or be triggered again.
The problem is we look up to guides, teachers, and thought leaders and put them on pedestals, or make them superhuman. This is especially true in the age of social media where we are seeing snippets of people’s lives.
We hear about their profound insights and it’s easy to get caught up in the illusion that there is a journey from point A to point B. But, there is no point B, there is only the experience of the journey. We just get to decide how we want this experience to go.
Spirituality, Law of Attraction, and self-help can be a slippery slope into muscling through our mind’s acrobatics; into sidestepping the conditional and relational truths of being human, which leaves us further disconnected from ourselves.
The journey of being a soul having a human experience is about finding our light and our divinity through our humanity, not through escaping it.
The difference is, in transformation, we learn how to be with ourselves instead of avoiding ourselves. We learn how to love ourselves, without relying on the external world to tell us when we are lovable. To that end, perfection is an illusion and inevitably there will be pivots, shifts, breakdowns, and emptying out periods as we discover deeper and deeper connections with our own love and truth.
The practice: love yourself through everything you are experiencing.
Destruction of old identities, coping mechanisms, and avoidance techniques is not comfortable! Revolution is messy! Don’t shame yourself or your process. Learn to really TRUST your messy, confused, pissed off, lonely, and angry. They are showing you things, primarily where to show up for yourself more honestly, and wholeheartedly.
This is the only way. To accept and love it all. And through your non-resistance comes peace and clearings, and more profound levels of love and connection with yourself.
The truth is you have to fall off track a few times to realize where you want to be; you have to be so sick of your own shit that you become willing to do the uncomfortable work.
No one said this path was easy. If it was, everyone would do it.
Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach
My commitment is to be as human with you, as is humanly possible over the internet while I break down overly simplistic, reductive, self-help and spiritual teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my Instagram meanderings, and get access to the Wholehuman™ tribe, a soulful support tribe for real life healing, relationships, and self-love –– with a side of you’re a bad ass, we won’t let you forget it, and maybe some virtual booty dancing.