How to never miss a sign again.

How to never miss a sign again.

Perhaps, what we most often miss are the signals that it’s time to move on, shift, re-focus, and let go.

We get so caught up in the determination, the not being a “failure,” the “looking good”, the fear of “is this is the last one that will ever love me”, that we forget the whole point of this journey – enjoy it. 

I did this a lot in my past: allowed low-grade, internal corrosion, tolerable amounts of confusion, pain, chaos and turmoil, all while I clung, chased, grasped, and forced circumstances in my life that were trying to go. I thought the pain and chaos were bad luck, bad boyfriends, or difficult planetary aspects (kind of a joke, but not really), but it was never about them. It was more about my willingness to listen to and honor what my feelings were telling me, and then own what was clearly not working.

The chaos, pain, and turmoil show up – are there to show you, exactly where you are out of sync. To gently and sometimes forcibly get you to recognize what you have been avoiding.

What needs your attention? Something or someone needs to go? What is out of alignment? What is draining and not empowering? Do you need to show up differently? Do you need to politely say “this is not working for me.”

Someone needs to be honest, and it’s probably you.

It can be terribly difficult to be honest, especially with ourselves. It’s uncomfortable. It’s sometimes messy, and there are always going to be emotions to acknowledge and work through. But I promise, pointing the finger back at yourself, as opposed to someone else, is always more illuminating. And, it’s also radically responsible.

If there is one thing I know for sure, and I don’t know a lot for sure, for sure, it’s that being radically responsible for what is coming through you in your life is the fastest way to create more fulfilling and nourishing circumstances, and to feel empowered.

The paradox of personal responsibility is there are more choices and way more freedom, but you can’t exercise that freedom if you are ignoring, clinging, and chasing.

You can’t allow for more peaceful nourishing circumstances in your life if you are burying your head in the sand, or playing the victim, or if you aren’t looking at how you co-created some part in the chaos.

Nothing that is meant for you will miss you, and nothing that is meant for you should be anything less than nourishing. Stand for that.

Will there be work? Of course.

Will there be compromise? Absolutely.

Will everything always be shiny and beautiful? Most likely not.

But underneath all those Truth and heart aligned choices will be an ever present state of peace, ease, and joy which = nourishment and love.

In order to invite in, make space, and allow for bigger and more empowering circumstances to move in, we have to be willing to ask some questions about how we are showing up and confront the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves.

Why is this drain still in my life? What am I afraid to let go of? What am I afraid to say, do, acknowledge in me, that would create this void and uncertainty? What situation is begging for me to set a healthy boundary, or risk making someone mad?

When we trust – oh-so-deeply trust, that what is meant to be ours on a high level will find it’s way to us, we can get out of our own damn way (our heads telling us to “fight” or “make the most out of this one”) and calmly stand in our inner authority; our gentle yet bold certainty, and declare I am willing to allow the highest to unfold in ways I can’t foresee yet.

This is the rhythm of flow. This is where our backbone meets our wishbone. This is where we embody our power.

Your job is to be brave. Be honest. Stay true. Show up. Stand up.

Do. No. Harm. Ever. Most importantly, to yourself.

Light and Love, Megyn

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.

 

The Shadow Side Of Gratitude – How Positive Thinking And Mindset Training Get Misused

The Shadow Side Of Gratitude – How Positive Thinking And Mindset Training Get Misused

I’m all for gratitude. I love “everything happens for a reason” and finding the lesson in a difficult situation. I believe there is wisdom in looking at ourselves and our stories. It is noble to take radical responsibility. But what about our hearts? What about the legitimacy of the feelings that arise when you’re in the middle of the “shit storm”?

As a spiritual aspirant – I’m guilty. I’m guilty of getting caught up in the positive thinking and mindset madness that has us monitoring every negative thought, feeling, and emotion. But high-level concepts like “happiness is a choice” and “your thoughts create your reality” can be confusing and even shaming if misunderstood. And quite frankly, I witness a lot of misunderstanding.

I was a chronic positive-think-my-way-into-a-different-perspective kind of girl. I had experienced a fair amout of trauma: my parents went through a divorce, a close family member was murdered, my step-mom committed suicide, I got diagnosed with a rare brain tumor, then I nearly died, barely holding on to life for 10 days in the hospital, and to top it all off in my early thirties I got into an abusive relationship just for fun. Yet, I remained positive.

I had been shifting and observing my thoughts for years through personal development and mindfulness. I could silver line a nuclear Holocaust. But there was a cost: I was severely disconnected from my heart, my truth, and I didn’t trust myself. And isn’t that kind of the point of spiritual practice? Of working on ourselves? To be deeply rooted in who we are, to trust and love our whole self, so we can then have abundant spiritual AND human experiences?

If you are here you probably don’t need to disassociate from your feelings anymore. Most of us get onto this path because we are energetically sensitive, empathetic, emotional people who have never learned how to feel what we are feeling (different from emotional triggers) without making ourselves wrong.

When we focus on our stories and limiting beliefs without acknowledging the core messages that lie underneath the emotions and thoughts, it is just another way the ego disassociates – kind of like an addict going for alcohol to avoid the discomfort of living.

As a result of never allowing our deepest feelings and beliefs to come to the surface, we separate ourselves further from our hearts, from our intuition, and from feeling connected from within. We actually exacerbate the very situation we are trying to fix: our relationship with our Truth and ourselves.

If we aren’t a sacred place to be fully human, messiness and all — then who and what are we looking to for that wholeness, for our power?

When I realized this was just a way to give the ego more power (directing the mind at the expense of feeling my core feelings) and that I was actually acting out of fear, because I hated myself for being vulnerable, I knew it was time to develop a new relationship with my whole self.

Yes, it’s important to not get sucked into some of the craziness from our minds. Yes, it is important to be aware of our reactions. Yes, it is important to take personal responsibility. Yes, it is important to not project all of our wounds and soft spots onto someone else, blaming them for what we are feeling in the moment, but . . .

Being “spiritual” and loving is not about muscling ourselves into being super human.

The beauty of being a soul having a human experience is in finding the courage to open our hearts to our tender, wounded, broken, and messy without shame, with total acceptance, with some reverence, and with humility so we can heal the original source wound of separation from love; so we can cultivate a deep level of intimacy, trust, and truth with ourselves and with others.

The beauty of our emotions (and even our thoughts and egos) is that they are access points into deeper, unheard, wounds, and hurts. They are the bridge and the channel for unconditional love with ourselves, for honest communication with others, and for being fully present in the here and now.

Through honoring the language of our emotions, of our feelings, and of our experiences, we heal years of denied, repressed, stored, grief material that creates the filter we navigate our life from.

Connecting to our feelings is the difference between a “good” spiritual practice and an actual spiritual experience. When we learn how to feel, heal, integrate, and become whole, we get laughter through tears, joy in the middle of breakdowns, peace in the face of chaos, and trust in the face of the unknown.

Through experiencing all we were meant to experience here, we get glorious #Wholehuman™ living.

Light and Love Megyn

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible over the internet while I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Get exclusive love notes and private updates, stock my Instagram, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on relationships, self-love, and self-awareness.

What If Your Criminal Ego Wasn’t The Problem?

What If Your Criminal Ego Wasn’t The Problem?

What if we were approaching life backward? What if trying to work on the mind, our thoughts and dysfunctional egos were actually adding to the disconnect, to the fear, to the pain we sense in our lives?

What if instead, we learned what our heart and soul were trying to tell us through our emotions and feelings and stopped rationalizing or suppressing them?

What if we embraced unconditionally all our vulnerabilities, darkness, limitations, hurt and pain? Do you think this would create a sacred, unconditionally loving place for your heart to be heard so you could heal the disconnect that strengthened your alter ego, that allowed the ego mind to run the show?

Do you think that resisting the smallness of the ego will solve the problem? Do you think that judging our lower egoic impulses will make them go away?

Or do you think that we could transcend these lower frequencies of being human by healing what is causing the problem in the first place?

An alter ego is only empowered by disowned parts of Self, by unhealed and trapped emotions that lower our frequency and get triggered because they have never been released.

When we can hold a sacred space to healthfully honor our uncomfortable and sticky emotions we create a clearing for our intuition – our heart’s higher directive, and then in turn learn to observe and not react from our ego.

The beautiful spiritual practices of self love, self forgiveness and acceptance are only powerful when they are integrated into a way of being, and denying our human-beingness through self ridicule, denial or disassociation is not spiritual. This is not self love.

The higher self wants us to be human, that is why we are here. And the difference between being human and being – oh let’s say a robot, is our emotions. They are the bridge to your wholeness, to your soul and to your intuition.

More thoughts to come…

Light and Love

Megyn

 

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.

How To Listen To Your Heart And Get Out Of Your Head!

How To Listen To Your Heart And Get Out Of Your Head!

Let’s be honest, when you first start endeavoring to listen to your heart, it’s scary as sh**! That is, if you even know what you are listening for.

Being guided by internal knowing and intuition are not how we are taught to navigate our lives, as a result “following your heart”, even though “self-help gurus” make it sound as if it’s simply a choice (like it’s just that easy), is often drowned out by a lot of old conditioning, wounding, and controlling, thoughts.

Our bodies and hearts are screaming at us to listen to them all the time; to value and honor their innate wisdom — unfortunately, without proper healing and integration, we either can’t hear it, or don’t want to.

One of the most eye-opening lessons I learned, was that when I ignore my heart, and allow my mind to take the lead, it’s always a recipe for chaos, and a sure-fire path to pain and suffering.

The problem is we don’t always know how to distinguish the difference between our hearts and our heads. They are high-minded spiritual concepts without a lot of relatability.

Before you throw in the towel and give up, I want to assure you it does become easier if you know what you are up against.

First, understand that humans are wired for survival, and we don’t really need to “survive” anything anymore.

The mind, the ego, the fearful, competitive, controlling thoughts, are just that. . . a survival mechanism.

The mind is a strong muscle, one we have relied on for strength, clarity and security. We think there are perfect choices with verifiable, controllable, outcomes. But there are only choices we can create our reality in: from a place of wholeness, love, and sovereignty, or from a place of neediness, lack and fear.

So take a moment now, and bless the beautiful coping mechanisms and obsessive mind techniques that have gotten you this far. They have been deeply purposeful. Make this your permission slip to start practicing radical self-compassion now, because it is your only pathway to self-love, healing, and listening to your heart.

Most heart centered “seekers” tend to be already be jammed up into their head space, with no clue on how to stop relying on the mind’s projections and distortions.

Universally, we all have wounding and conditioning that has traumatized us away or prevented us from accessing self-trust, self-love, and inner knowing.

We don’t know how to embrace the unpredictable space of allowing. We get uncomfortable in the eerie calm of the in-between. We get triggered when we step up to be vulnerable: “Am I good enough?” “Will life work out for me?” We try to avoid the unknown and the discomfort at all costs.

Before we can truly step into creating our lives from the center of the heart, we have to heal all the debris in the way, so that we can anchor into trusting ourselves, hearing our innate wisdom, and allowing for the Divine support of life.

These lessons I learned on how to listen to my heart are still very much a deepening practice for me; it’s a relationship I am always building trust with, but one that I have found to always be nourishing, inspiring, honest, and peaceful.

From heart, we are fully expressed, connected, guided, and brave.

From mind, we are in fear, depleted, contorting, and chasing outcomes.

Choices of the heart make room for more fulfillment, ease, peace and meaning.

  • They value our lives and our feelings.
  • They honor the ripple affects of behavior.
  • They feel nourishing.
  • They tell the truth.
  • They feel intuitive.
  • They are about resonance and giving out from overflow without ‘needing’ something in return.
  • They feel calm and deeply right, as if they were meant to be.
  • They often don’t feel like a choice, they feel like they must move through us.
  • They feel light and expansive.
  • They TRUST that moments of discomfort are making room for something greater to actualize in our lives.

Choices of the ego are competitive, built on distrust and scarcity, and put us in our own way.

  • They bring embarrassment, dishonesty, blame and shame (eventually).
  • They feel like rationalizations, arguments with Self, and monkey-mind chatter.
  • They follow other people’s path, so we can fit in, guarantee success, or please others.
  • The ego emotions have a short half-life, like excitement and giddiness.
  • Ego ideas come from old emotional programs like scarcity, not being good enough, and not trusting life.
  • Ego is the anxious and urgent five year old voice that feels like “it has to have something/one” now in order to be valuable, worthy and lovable.
  • The ego avoids the present moment because it’s always chasing and manipulating something in the future.
  • Ego choices create competition, dis-ease, depletion and lack of long term fulfillment.

I now trust and understand my heart-intuition more. I know that I won’t always know the who, the what, the where and the why, but I can look for opportunities to remember what it feels like to pay attention to my higher knowing and be grateful when I see the harmony unfolding as I allow my heart to be my guide.

All Love,
Megyn

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you, as is humanly possible over the internet while I break down overly simplistic, reductive, self-help and spiritual teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my Instagram meanderings, and get access to the Wholehuman™ tribe, a soulful support tribe for real life healing, relationships, and self-love –– with a side of you’re a bad ass, we won’t let you forget it, and maybe some virtual booty dancing.

 

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