Love your broken heart: It’s how the Light gets in.

Love your broken heart: It’s how the Light gets in.

I overheard a “Dr.”, presumably a psychologist, asking people to sign up for her course on getting over breakups so they could “never have their heart broken again.”

On the spiritual side of things, I read quotes like “no one can hurt you” which is a great example of the simplistic, reductive, and one-dimensional misrepresentations of the human experience.

The commodification of pop-psychology, self-help, and spirituality have produced “teachers,” “seekers,” and authors that regurgitate misinformation out of the #wholehuman context – espousing high-minded ideals at the expense of understanding the relational, developmental, and conditional aspects of being human.

Shares and likes and followers, sellable soundbites, and towing a “spiritual line” seem to be more important than the complex, nuanced, multidimensional, and often messy Truth of human relationships.

On a stripped down, basic, level we are all trying desperately not to get our hearts broken by other people, by life, and by ourselves. But the fact of the matter is, if we are truly living, open and vulnerable, embodied and integrated — our hearts will be broken over and over again.

Not only because of external loss or when a dream dies or when another human being does something hurtful, but because when we are committed to the Truth and seeing our responsibility and in devotion to Love, it is inevitable that we will have to let go of aspects and ideas of ourselves that just don’t work anymore.

And another layer of bullshit to shed or another distortion we can’t take with us can sometimes equal sorrow, heartbreak, grief, and discomfort. 

While we are hardwired to avoid these things, they are actually essential to the demonstration and reception of our own love. They are THE access points for deep self-compassion.

I’ve seen time and time again in my own life and with the women I work with, when we embrace the parts of us or the wounds which have been unconsciously running the show, we can tenderly hold ourselves while we simultaneously grieve through letting go.

When we finally show up for our #wholehuman experience without shoving it to the side or calling it “not true” or dismissing it as some irrational “story,” the heart that breaks is the heart that opens and how the light gets in.

All freaking love. All truth

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.

Why “choosing happy” is making you miserable

Why “choosing happy” is making you miserable

 

I have never met anyone who would “choose unhappy.” Most of the people I interact with are looking for inner peace, happiness, and general feelings of ease and trust, and most of these people are STEEPED in personal empowerment and self-help.

Perception is a choice.

And even then, a miracle of “perception shift” must address the underlying, conditional, and relational wounding which has people feeling “safe” or more “significant” within their victim stories and perceptions.

“Happiness is a choice” is one of those reductive, overly simplistic self-help-spiritual platitudes that I have seen people use to create a more “enlightened” sense of self; to spiritually bypass core discomfort, which essentially creates more of what we are trying to heal: the disconnect between our mind, body, heart, and spirit.

Yes it is true, some people will use their negative emotions as an excuse to live in that space of “victimhood” or “inaction” but most often I find when you help the “seeker” find out what they are really feeling, underneath their persistent thoughts and emotions, then teach them how they can acknowledge, feel, and heal these beliefs and STILL love themselves, happiness usually has space to naturally flow in and out of one’s life without all the grasping, chasing, denying, and “shoulding” and all over one’s self.

Please, let’s not create more shame in people’s lives by over simplifying the #wholehuman experience.

All Love. All Truth

 

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.

 

What if you didn’t need the world to be any different today?

What if you didn’t need the world to be any different today?

 

What if you could let everyone you come across today be exactly right where they are: in their harshness, in their identities, in their complaining, in their fighting, in their messiness?

Then, what if you could turn this around on yourself, and be exactly where you are? Totally at peace with your confused, judgemental, pissed off, lonely, and furious? Without trying to positive think something away, or analyze, or fix it?

Recently I was in a waiting room with my mother, when a man dressed in all black and a beard that hadn’t been trimmed in 40 years, struck up a chatty conversation with me. He told me stories about growing up as an Israelite, and then his personal history morphed into ideas on what was clearly wrong with the “stupid, uneducated, people in America.” Before I knew it we were talking about the Bible, dogma, Communism, and fear.

Eventually, the man left and I noticed that I had an overwhelming feeling of love edging through my body. Not like pity love. Not like we are similar souls love, but that sweet, innocent, “my soul doesn’t need you to be anything different love.”

This kind of love, comes from out of nowhere, in the most unexpected and unplanned moments. I know it’s always there, deep inside of me, waiting to be unleashed, reachable without “trying” for it when I have no emotional attachment to needing the world to be any different than what it is.

Some weeks it’s easier and more consistently accessible, other weeks I feel a staunch hardness wash over me, that creeps in between me and life when my brain tries to fit everything into a neat and tidy box.

But when I can show up without an internal mandate to rescue, heal or fix anyone; when I don’t need to “show someone the light;” when I’m not shocked, offended, or surprised by anybody’s shit; when I accept the world in all it’s fuckery, this space envelopes me and those around with me with a profound sense of love and grace

This story is not profound or amazing, it’s actually pretty commonplace when we have the awareness of what is going on.

We often “think about” or reserve this kind of “loving space” for things like our animals, or people in “need.”

I offer to you that every day can be like a mini pilgrimage: our interactions at the grocery or in line at Starbucks, our commutes to work or conversations with strangers on the phone: “can I just love you and accept you today without making it about me, leaving aside my need to categorize you or complain about you or make you any different? “

What if I told you I didn’t need you to be anything other than where you are today? How would that feel?

All Love. All Truth.
Megyn

Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.

 

Being authentic is the most loving thing you can do, so why are we so bad at it?

Being authentic is the most loving thing you can do, so why are we so bad at it?

LIving in your truth is less about making shit happen and more about letting shit go.

Over the summer I was wrestling around with a profound contraction cycle. I kept hearing an inner voice that said “Stop! Take a break. Stop DOING for a while, and just BE.”

My mind was like, “No! That’s craziness. We need to keep up the pace. You are already like five years behind.”

Thankfully I’m familiar with the inner guidance and intuitive nudges that often don’t make sense and I trust them more than my head, so I surrendered — “Okay, I trust something will come through if I let go for a while.” And it did.

After three months of forgetting about trying TO DO MORE, (I only worked with one-on-one clients, and I binge watched The Black List and The News Room) I was able to ground into more of my own authentic Truth that often gets drowned out by the noise and messages we are bombarded with every day.

I had gotten in my own way, lost in the fray of everything that is “internet marketing”, and trying to be “successful”, and I was feeling resistance to making other people’s “business models” and comfort zones fit into my Truth.

The a-ha moment was: I didn’t want to be popular, I wanted to teach, and tell the truth, and share my insight, and be a relatable, accessible, human being, without all the selfies. Puh-leeze!

I’m not an online personality. I’m a teacher.

I’m not a green smoothie drinking yogi. I’m a meat eating bodybuilder.

I’m not shy and soft. I’m emphatic and effervescent.

I’m not going to be politically correct or tow a spiritual line, I’m going to tell the Whole. Damn. Truth. while deconstructing concepts so they are practical and implementable.

One of the quotes that were circulating through my mind at this time was from Eat Pray Love, by Liz Gilbert: “But at some point you have to make peace with what you were given, and if God wanted me to be a shy girl with thin, dark hair, he would have made me that way, but He didn’t. Useful, then, might be to accept how I was made and embody myself fully therein.”

The truth about being authentic and living in integrity, is you have to KNOW who you are, outside of all of the codependent people pleasing and external validation.

And. So. Many. People. Don’t

You have to know, honor, and stand for your core values, beliefs, standards, feelings, and desires like a freaking life raft, or you’ll get swept up in the tide, and wake up on the wrong shore.

You have to FEEL INTO and BE IN the totality of your experience here, including your disowned shame (because as unpopular as shame has become these days, we all have it, or in other words, we all have a part of us that doesn’t love us).

I wish I could tell you that being authentic and living in integrity were as simple as making a “choice” or deciding to, but unfortunately, because most of us are operating through relational wounding, conditioning, and trauma, we typically only have access to the mind or fear based constructs and identities that we’ve created throughout life (unconsciously) to guarantee us safety, security, and love.

As a result, what we often think of as being “authentic” or “fully expressed” or in integrity, isn’t coming from our hearts, especially if we’ve been hypnotized by the “positive thinking,” “I am already love” allure, which has us spiritually bypassing and never sifting through our wounding to reconnect to the purity of our core: our authentic self.

Deep self-connection (which makes authenticity possible) is another level of Knowing. It requires some curiosity, some intention, some vulnerability, some trust, and a whole lot of honesty and compassion with our disowned self-hate, fear, and hurt.

Living in integrity; living in alignment; being authentic from our wholeness, is quite literally an act of self-love; a way of showing up for ourselves; the way we stop the bleeding out, the despair, the feeling unseen, and the depletion that comes from codependent people pleasing, playing small, and trying to squeeze into boxes.

When we don’t show up fully expressed; when we don’t honor our Truth; when we abandon our core values; when we use positive thinking, personal empowerment, and self-help to dismiss or spiritualize away our shame, we are imperceptibly, participating in self-abandonment, which creates voids of self-love that we then go out into the world and co-dependently look for something/someone to take care of our self-love gaps.

So yes, a lack of integrity comes from a lack of self-love, but knowing who we are, and being authentic, and living in integrity, is the most loving and healing thing we can do for ourselves, even with all the unknowns!

All love. All truth.

Megyn

LIving in your truth is less about making shit happen and more about letting shit go.
a-lack-of-integrity-and-authenticity-comes-from-a-lack-of-self-love
Being authentic is the most loving thing you can do, so why are we so bad at it?
Megyn Blanchard

Megyn Blanchard

Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach

My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet while I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Get exclusive love notes and for your eyes only updates, stock my Instagram, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness.

 

Why too much self-help actually creates suffering

Why too much self-help actually creates suffering

For 17 years I was a good spiritual student and self-help junkie. I was well versed in concepts like self-love and self-worth. Concepts like “our thoughts create our reality” and “happiness is a choice” permeated much of my thinking. I had accepted everyone for where they were at, at their level of consciousness. I believed unconditional love, forgiveness, and gratitude would deliver landslides of peace, joy, and abundance.

I worked on my chakras. I had taken my inventory, “my stories” were not real and I knew none of this physical experience mattered anyway.

But what I learned the hard way, was that none of this had anything to do with Love; that this was a backward way of trying to live from my heart. I was working on the connection to myself, and ultimately something larger than Self, through my mind.

As a result, I had all the right intentions and concepts, but none of the right feelings. Good intentions + wrong feelings = spiritual junk-food.

What is this journey about?

In spiritual circles, it is well known that we are not just humans, but that we are souls having a human experience. We are unlimited beings here in manifestation having a temporary physical experience, and while all that is true, it’s just incomplete.

We are souls; creative life force energy who CHOSE to come here and have a human experience, which translates as this: none of this is an accident, including our criminal egos and broken hearts. There is not one part of being human that is flawed.

If we had only wanted a “true nature experience,” we would never have left or given up our true nature to come here.

But we did. And even if you believe that this was somehow just a Big Bang accident and that the intricacies of our humanity and our planet are completely random, wouldn’t it feel more nourishing to be of service to Love through the gift of our humanity as opposed to dismissing it?

In order to connect with that which we are – which is love, the illusion of separation is essential.

Without physical form, we are just Universe or Source energy that can’t experience herself.

Human reality is one glorious hodgepodge of magnificent, heartbreaking, heart-opening, messiness and chaos for a reason – to gift us the opportunity to open our hearts in the most impossible and heartbreaking situations – especially with ourselves.

As people who are “waking up,” it’s easy to get caught up in the madness of chasing empowerment, escaping our denser energetic bodies and battling the craziness of our minds. All more ego – just spiritually acceptable ego and a way to stand in further judgment and dissociation of our natural processes.

As intelligent, bright and masterful women, we’ve been jammed up into our headspace with more education at the expense of learning how to be vulnerable and more loving with ourselves. Which is in fact, the only way to heal and access deep, abiding, soulful, love and compassion.

We’ve put an extraordinary amount of focus on our egos and limiting beliefs, which are actually messengers for our broken hearts. We’ve placed high-minded ideals above understanding the relational, developmental and conditional aspects of being human, which creates more shame and frustration because we are constantly striving to achieve another level of “I have to stop something or muscle through something or be something to get somewhere” which the ego loves.

But what if we could start creating our lives through learning how to open our hearts more?

What if our wounds and pain-points and triggers were the only way to be vulnerable and access compassion?

The limiting “stories” we tell ourselves, our “ways of being” that aren’t working for us are really just a tender, unhealed part of us waiting to finally be seen, loved and integrated.

The rumination of the mind is a distraction technique to keep us from sinking down into our bodies and allowing the uncomfortable messages from our disowned beliefs and feelings to come up and guide us to internal release and healing.

We can “master our mind” and re-frame all day, but it doesn’t always address the core imprint or experience of not feeling safe to show up fully, not feeling chosen or not feeling supported.

If we want to learn to trust ourselves and connect with our heart and soul, we have to learn to communicate the way our heart and soul speaks. We need to learn how to make peace with our broken, wounded, humanity ––  this is the breeding ground for true vulnerability, trust, and compassion with ourselves.

A little powerfully true but overlooked law: What you resist persists but what you love rises above.

The only way to experience life through the purity of our spirit is through the demonstration and reception of what we are, which is Love. Which translates as truth, compassion, patience, honesty and acceptance of all aspects of the wholehuman experience.

The sooner we can learn to love it all, the sooner you will start to experience the Love you are made of, the sooner you will start to feel connected to yourself and something larger than Self in a way that has you crying tears of bliss “It’s so freaking simple and so obvious, I love it all. I get it. I am love because I love.”

Where are you going to love yourself more today??

Light and Love

Megyn

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL AS MUCH JOY, TRUST, AND LOVE AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, NOW!

My mission is to bridge the gap that exists between high-level-woo-woo-spiritulity, self-love and your everyday life. Stick around, kick up your heels, read for a while. I am sure we'll be fast friends.

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