I overheard a “Dr.”, presumably a psychologist, asking people to sign up for her course on getting over breakups so they could “never have their heart broken again.”
On the spiritual side of things I read quotes like “no one can hurt you” which is a great example of the simplistic, reductive, and one-dimensional misrepresentations of the Wholehuman experience.
The commodification of pop-psychology, self-help, and spirituality have produced “teachers,” “seekers,” and authors that regurgitate misinformation out of the wholehuman context – espousing high-minded ideals at the expense of understanding the relational, developmental, and conditional aspects of being human.
Shares and likes and followers, sellable soundbites, and towing a “spiritual line” seem to be more important than the complex, nuanced, multidimensional, and often messy Truth of human relationships.
On a stripped down basic level we are all trying desperately not to get our hearts broken by other people, by life, and by ourselves. But the fact of the matter is, if we are truly living, open, and vulnerable, embodied and integrated — our hearts will be broken over and over again.
Not only because of the loss of a loved one, or when a dream dies, or when another human being does something hurtful, but because when we are committed to the Truth and seeing our responsibility and in devotion to Love, it is inevitable that we will have to let go of aspects and ideas of ourselves that just don’t work anymore.
And another layer of bullshit to shed or another distortion we can’t take with us can sometimes equal sorrow, heartbreak, grief, and discomfort.
While we are hardwired to avoid these things, they are actually essential to the demonstration and reception of our own love. They are THE access points for deep self-compassion.
I’ve seen time and time again in my own life and with the women I work with, when we embrace the parts of us or the wounds which have been unconsciously running the show, we can tenderly hold ourselves while we simultaneously grieve through letting go.
When we finally show up for our #wholehuman experience without shoving it to the side or calling it “not true” or dismissing it as some irrational “story,” the heart that breaks is the heart that opens and how the LOVE gets in.
All freaking love. All truth
Tell me about your own heartbreak in the comments below. I love hearing from my readers!
Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach
My commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.