There is nothing wrong with you (But first you must accept this Truth!)
I meet a lot of people who are convinced there is something “wrong” with them because they’ve “tried everything” and they still have bad days, feel lost, feel sad or depressed at times, and as a result have decided they are broken (shame).
They continue to amass encyclopedic knowledge in “my shit,” self-help, and personal empowerment; they seek out gurus, see therapists, shamans, and energy healers, and blame 5th dimension connections and karmic contracts on their aches and pains.
I get it. When you feel lost and broken down you want it to go away. Not tomorrow, but yesterday. The teeny-weeny problem is. . .
When we go into hyper-drive “I’ve got to fix, change, or transcend” mode it’s like an addict going for alcohol to avoid the discomfort of living: looking to external “gurus”, answers, connections, and concoctions to fill our voids, our minds, and our disconnected hearts.
As a reformed self-help junkie and positive Pollyanna, my drug of choice was “fixing” my “thoughts.” And after all the ego observations, positive affirmations, and identification of “my stories”, I was still just as lost, disembodied, repressed, and numbed out.
I had no clue how to be vulnerable, how to be authentic, or how to deeply connect with myself.
I was a spiritual intellectual traumatized by the total abandonment of self.
The problem with all these well-intentioned coaching, spiritual, and healing paradigms is we are often sidestepping the internal cues, signposts, and exquisite bodily messages in the present moment. We are often looking for secrets that exist outside of ourselves at the expense of leaning into our deepest self – who might have a lot to say if she’s never been listened to.
We don’t heal our source wounds and self-worth issues by denying the feelings and experiences we feel in our core — that lie underneath the crazy stories of our mind.
We don’t align with our eternal nature: love, by dissociating from pain, hurt, and trauma — these are guideposts that something is out of sync in our lives.
We don’t erase our limiting, ego, fear based beliefs through simply being the “observer” or the “space” — these are our relational and developmental survival mechanisms that must be healed in relationship to being human.
We don’t get a deeper connection to ourselves and create more meaningful lives by calling part of our human experience “an illusion”, “not true”, or “not real.” It’s all real, here, now, at this time, it’s just not the only thing that’s real.
Spirituality and personal empowerment can be a slippery slope into muscling our way into believing what we THINK we should believe.
Our triggers, the “stories”, and our “criminal egos” are an invitation to connect with ourselves on much deeper levels and look at the messages inherent in our pain.
They are access points to disowned truths.
They are passageways to emotional intimacy with ourselves and with others through vulnerability and honesty.
The fact of the matter is we reside here in human form for a reason: to experience the experience of ourselves; to delight in our true nature through resonance in human form.
And the only way to match our lives with that which we desire is to BECOME the deepest, truest, most honest versions of love we can be, which is through loving our humanity, not through discarding it.
If we want to feel and receive and experience the gifts of love, truth, trust, peace, and meaning, then we have to learn how to connect with the essence of our being (love) through communicating the way our heart and soul speaks: unbridled, unrestricted, all-encompassing, compassion and love. Which has nothing to do with resistance, forcing a positive thought, calling an experience not real, or muscling our way into better “thinking.”
We aren’t going to find what we are “looking for” through not loving all of what WE ARE.
Fall in love with your paradoxical nature. Fall in love with being Human. Show up for your whole self and feel the love and truth you’ve been disconnected from.