The one spiritual practice that will change your life!
When ever I used to feel used, abused, angry, let down, or taken for granted, it used to be about the other person’s behavior.
I really thought I was being treated badly, and I thought the “emotional trigger” was because of what someone else was “doing to me.” I would be in disbelief over someone’s poor behavior.
When I realized that nothing, nothing, was personal; that it wasn’t about me; that everyone relates to healthy relationship differently; that everyone has a different path; that everyone evolves and develops according to their own soul’s timeline – then taking anything personally seemed ridiculous.
Yes some people behave unconsciously.
There are disrespectful, dishonest, demeaning, and manipulative people walking around. There are people who will take advantage of your soft spots and be selfish. There are people who will project all their unhealed soul lessons on to you.
But our job isn’t to change, rescue or fix them.
We have no control over other people, and while this truth used to enrage me, and felt like I was giving someone a get out of jail free pass, it paradoxically gave me back my power.
It was then my job to discern if someone was participating in behavior that wasn’t nice or healthy for me. I didn’t have to get caught up in trying to prove it to them. I didn’t have to make it about me or hope they would change and get them to realize the error of their ways.
I didn’t have to get ensnared in their soul lessons. I could simply walk away or set a healthy boundary and let Life take care of the rest.
This was the hardest and yet most freeing practice I ever learned.
They may choose to stay stuck in old patterns as we focus on healing and moving beyond our old ways.
And because it isn’t about us, because all we have control over is ourselves — then changing our life experiences is completely contingent upon our willingness to stand for what is good, honorable, respectful, uplifting, and nourishing in our own lives.
I could have compassion for and accept another person’s path, but I wasn’t dependent upon them to show me the respect, dignity, love, and honor I deserved.
It feels really good to show up for yourself; to love and honor your person-hood and your heart.
When we can trust that we will stand for ourselves, we will no longer feel the need to look for love and nurturing from the outside world and we can more easily accept the different stages of healing everyone is in, and not take it so personally.
Paradoxically as we become the trusted advocates of our own hearts, of our own soul; as we look less and less to outside sources to provide this for us, we actually attract more empowered and loving relationships into our lives.
It’s really all so wonderful!
Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coachMy commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.