How To Listen To Your Heart And Get Out Of Your Head!
Let’s be honest, when you first start endeavoring to listen to your heart, it’s scary as sh**! That is, if you even know what you are listening for.
Being guided by internal knowing and intuition are not how we are taught to navigate our lives, as a result “following your heart”, even though “self-help gurus” make it sound as if it’s simply a choice (like it’s just that easy), is often drowned out by a lot of old conditioning, wounding, and controlling, thoughts.
Our bodies and hearts are screaming at us to listen to them all the time; to value and honor their innate wisdom — unfortunately, without proper healing and integration, we either can’t hear it, or don’t want to.
One of the most eye-opening lessons I learned, was that when I ignore my heart, and allow my mind to take the lead, it’s always a recipe for chaos, and a sure-fire path to pain and suffering.
The problem is we don’t always know how to distinguish the difference between our hearts and our heads. They are high-minded spiritual concepts without a lot of relatability.
Before you throw in the towel and give up, I want to assure you it does become easier if you know what you are up against.
First, understand that humans are wired for survival, and we don’t really need to “survive” anything anymore.
The mind, the ego, the fearful, competitive, controlling thoughts, are just that. . . a survival mechanism.
The mind is a strong muscle, one we have relied on for strength, clarity and security. We think there are perfect choices with verifiable, controllable, outcomes. But there are only choices we can create our reality in: from a place of wholeness, love, and sovereignty, or from a place of neediness, lack and fear.
So take a moment now, and bless the beautiful coping mechanisms and obsessive mind techniques that have gotten you this far. They have been deeply purposeful. Make this your permission slip to start practicing radical self-compassion now, because it is your only pathway to self-love, healing, and listening to your heart.
Most heart centered “seekers” tend to be already be jammed up into their head space, with no clue on how to stop relying on the mind’s projections and distortions.
Universally, we all have wounding and conditioning that has traumatized us away or prevented us from accessing self-trust, self-love, and inner knowing.
We don’t know how to embrace the unpredictable space of allowing. We get uncomfortable in the eerie calm of the in-between. We get triggered when we step up to be vulnerable: “Am I good enough?” “Will life work out for me?” We try to avoid the unknown and the discomfort at all costs.
Before we can truly step into creating our lives from the center of the heart, we have to heal all the debris in the way, so that we can anchor into trusting ourselves, hearing our innate wisdom, and allowing for the Divine support of life.
These lessons I learned on how to listen to my heart are still very much a deepening practice for me; it’s a relationship I am always building trust with, but one that I have found to always be nourishing, inspiring, honest, and peaceful.
From heart, we are fully expressed, connected, guided, and brave.
From mind, we are in fear, depleted, contorting, and chasing outcomes.
Choices of the heart make room for more fulfillment, ease, peace and meaning.
- They value our lives and our feelings.
- They honor the ripple affects of behavior.
- They feel nourishing.
- They tell the truth.
- They feel intuitive.
- They are about resonance and giving out from overflow without ‘needing’ something in return.
- They feel calm and deeply right, as if they were meant to be.
- They often don’t feel like a choice, they feel like they must move through us.
- They feel light and expansive.
- They TRUST that moments of discomfort are making room for something greater to actualize in our lives.
Choices of the ego are competitive, built on distrust and scarcity, and put us in our own way.
- They bring embarrassment, dishonesty, blame and shame (eventually).
- They feel like rationalizations, arguments with Self, and monkey-mind chatter.
- They follow other people’s path, so we can fit in, guarantee success, or please others.
- The ego emotions have a short half-life, like excitement and giddiness.
- Ego ideas come from old emotional programs like scarcity, not being good enough, and not trusting life.
- Ego is the anxious and urgent five year old voice that feels like “it has to have something/one” now in order to be valuable, worthy and lovable.
- The ego avoids the present moment because it’s always chasing and manipulating something in the future.
- Ego choices create competition, dis-ease, depletion and lack of long term fulfillment.
I now trust and understand my heart-intuition more. I know that I won’t always know the who, the what, the where and the why, but I can look for opportunities to remember what it feels like to pay attention to my higher knowing and be grateful when I see the harmony unfolding as I allow my heart to be my guide.
Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coach
My commitment is to be as human with you, as is humanly possible over the internet while I break down overly simplistic, reductive, self-help and spiritual teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my Instagram meanderings, and get access to the Wholehuman™ tribe, a soulful support tribe for real life healing, relationships, and self-love –– with a side of you’re a bad ass, we won’t let you forget it, and maybe some virtual booty dancing.