Do you have the same definitions of kindness and respect? (The life changing advice I’d never thought of)
One of the simplest and most profound pieces of advice ever given to me was from a Buddhist friend twenty years older and wiser than me. He said, “Megyn if you don’t have the same definitions of kindness and respect, the relationships you have will never work.”
Why was this simple and seemingly obvious life advice such a soul-affirming-a-ha-moment for me?
Like it immediately took away all the confusing guessing games in relationships and gave back years to my life in saved hours from wasteful rumination.
Why is it that somewhere between kindergarten and adolescence we forget that the nice kids are the ones we want to play with?
Why is that in adulthood most of the people I talk to and work with have been entangled in disrespectful and toxic relationship dynamics?
Why is that kindness and respect are not taught as required learning for college freshman?
Is it simply that we have big hearts and want to believe the best in people? Is it some subconscious form of neediness: Loving another until our hearts bleed so they will see our value and love us back?
Have we been so desensitized by the media that bad behavior is the new normal?
Or is it simpler than that? Do we just not feel worthy enough to wait for kindness and respect? Do we just not know what our standards of kindness and respect are?
The truth is it’s much more complex and layered than any one answer, but I do know that receiving and allowing respect and kindness into our lives begins with being clear on our own values, our worth, and our deepest desires, and then trusting that life will organically shape itself around you mirroring this self-love back to us through gifts of deeper and truer connection.
Self-love is the most potent and powerful form of energy and the Universe really likes this kind of clarity.
And while not everyone will be able to live their life this way or even have the same ideas of respect and kindness we can move through our lives taking nothing personally, having compassion in our hearts for all souls, but making room in our lives for kindness and respect to resonate.
Truth teller, Spiritual myth buster, Inner Relationship coachMy commitment is to be as human with you as is humanly possible, over the internet as I breakdown overly simplistic, reductive, self-help, and empowerment teachings. Join me for monthly updates, stock my social meanderings, and come be a part of the most bad ass, non-new-agey, real-life, private Facebook group as I give weekly sermons on realtionships, self-love, and self-awareness. I believe in original goodness, the simplicity and clarity of truth, the liberation of personal respsonsibility, and the endless healing of love. I can’t wait to see you.