THERE SHOULD BE MORE SELF, AND LESS HELP IN SELF-HELP!

Kick up your heels and read for a while as I deconstruct high-level-woo-woo-spiritulity, and self-love. You know, so you can actually apply this stuff to your real life and relationships.

Love your broken heart: It’s how the Light gets in.

I overheard a “Dr.”, presumably a psychologist, asking people to sign up for her course on getting over breakups so they could “never have their heart broken again.” On the spiritual side of things, I read quotes like “no one can hurt you” which is a great example of...

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Why “choosing happy” is making you miserable

  I have never met anyone who would "choose unhappy." Most of the people I interact with are looking for inner peace, happiness, and general feelings of ease and trust, and most of these people are STEEPED in personal empowerment and self-help. Perception is a...

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Is the obsession with your thoughts really helping you?

The idea that our thoughts are just something we don’t have to “believe” in order to alleviate suffering is one of those self-help axioms which have become so pervasive that no one dares to question it. It’s been espoused as a high-minded ideal by “thought leaders”...

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How to stop choosing relationships from your wounds!

When in relationship to life and as a result other human beings, your soul pulls you toward the maximum growth potential for expansion, and love, and union — this is why romantic relationships are such catalysts for change, and so intoxicating. But until we’ve...

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How to forgive when you don’t want to.

When the guru waving his spiritual wand says “Choose to forgive someone in order to set yourself free,” Does the decision to engage in forgiveness miraculously take the emotional juice away? No, not hardly. When self-help authors espouse language like: “Who is more...

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The one thing you need to know about self-love

I look back at times when I thought I had spiritual principles down like surrender and getting out of my own way and unconditional love, and I am astounded at how I didn’t get it, at how much more deeply I get it now, and how I can probably "get it" more in the...

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How to *really* apologize. Own your shit.

  A few weeks ago, I felt like an adolescent girl held hostage by hormones: on the verge of crying every few minutes, super tender, for no reason at all. I. Was. Just. Over. It. Over worked. Over stretched. Over dead-lined. Over tired. Over exposed. When a male...

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How to trust when things aren’t happening fast enough.

  In case you didn't know, I'm ancient years old, (37.5 rockin' years on this planet ) and have been single for some time now: 2 years, 8 months, and 17 days at the moment this post was written. And to be brutally honest, I've spent more time out of relationship...

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Essential truths you need to know before your 30

  As my birthday month passes and I find myself closer to 40 than I am not, (oh-mah-gosh that sounds weird) it’s hard not to think about what the next half of my life will look like. My mid-thirties have been fast and furious as age seems to compress time,...

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